Falling. Failing.

Verbal bitch slap. Just what the doctor ordered.

I’ve been second guessing my decision to leave security and stability for insecurity and unpredictability. Who did I think I was? Undeserving of a new start. Undeserving of “all the time in the world”. How am I able to go after this dream when I’m carrying the weight of my people// my parents didn’t come to this country for me to fail.

I failed LOTS on Saturday. Physically.

It was a perfect personification of my reality. Falling straight onto my face. Face first. Jump. Actual leap. No faith this time. And back down on the ground. So I gave it another try. Fail. And another. Fail. Another one in front of the packed gym. A full audience to witness my failure. So we left the gym. And the beer helped us laugh it off.

At least I tried. Because today, I tried again. Today I landed it. Today I hung. Twice. Progress.

It’s what I love about the climbing gym. It’s a physical climb to the finish. A climb up to the top. On Saturday, I failed. And I promised to return. Today, I succeeded a move further than before. Today, I went back and finished that Green V2. Twice. Just to be sure.

Failing is good. Failing is more than good. Failing is important. I’m learning to be OK with failing. I’m learning to be OK with ripped skin. I am learning. One move at a time.


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